Can We Be Friends?

I read an article last week that stated that only 9% of the couples that go through a divorce have contentious marriages.  The rest of the couples had grown apart or learned how to co-exist even though they had lost that loving feeling.  Why is it then that so many divorces become contentious?  There are different types of processes to facilitate less animosity.

My dad was a wise man.  He used to tell me that if you can see it, you can be it.  What if you worked from the end?  How do you envision life after your divorce?  If you have children, you will be connected forever. How do you see your relationship with your ex?  If you were able to at least semi peacefully co-exist in your marriage, can you peacefully live separate lives?  Can you envision being friends with your ex?

If that is your new vision, how would you make that happen?  You need to communicate your vision with your spouse and make sure that they are on the same page.  If so, you need the right team of professionals to help you accomplish your goal.  Your team should include a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, an Attorney for each party and possibly therapists.

In Georgia, you are each entitled to an equitable settlement.  A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) will analyze all applicable items below and provide you with scenarios that will help you achieve your equitable financial settlement and understand how the settlement will impact your financial future:

  • Income
  • Expenses
  • Assets such as: Real Estate, Investments, Retirement, Employee Benefits
  • Debts such as: Mortgages, Loans/Lines of Credit, Student Loans, Credit Cards
  • Businesses
  • Child Support
  • Alimony
  • Property Settlements

Your attorneys will help you navigate the legal system, draft all legal documents, work with your CDFA to help you negotiate your financial settlement, guide you through a parenting schedule if applicable, communicate with the court and your spouse’s attorney, and ensure you receive the best possible outcome.

As you go through the process always keep the desired end result in mind, choose your battles carefully, and when you get ‘stuck’ on an issue allow your attorney to be your advocate.  You can achieve a revised happily ever after if you and your spouse plan accordingly.

As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, I am here to help.  I would be happy to help guide those in need to an amicable financial resolution.


© 2015 Mitchell Hayes